As a single woman in a large metropolitan city, it can be quite difficult to meet quality men.
It’s not that there is a shortage of them. No, I don’t believe that.
I’ve been very intentional about avoiding that scarcity mindset when it comes to connecting with men. Instead, I am both hopeful and confident that there is an abundance of eligible men out there.
My challenge is figuring out how to connect with them.
I know how popular online dating is these days.
With the click of a mouse, or a swipe right, you can “meet” a man and set up a date within minutes. Technology has made it so easy for people to connect with each other.
I tried online dating years ago, using sites like Match.com and Christian Mingle. I met a few really nice guys. I was in a long distance relationship with one of them that lasted a few years. I also met a guy who became a really good friend.
As I got older, I realized that I prefer to make connections in real life, as opposed to sifting through profiles on dating sites. There are so many options, maybe even too many! My indecisiveness is not a good match for the online dating world!
So, in my quest to find a fun, and inexpensive way to meet men, I decided to give speed dating a try.
What Is Speed Dating?
Speed dating is a relatively inexpensive, low-pressure way to meet other singles. Single men and women gather at a restaurant, or other public place. You have short conversations, or dates, to determine if there is a mutual interest. The event organizer is there to make sure that everyone has an opportunity to connect so that no one is left out.
There are many companies out there that host and facilitate speed dating events. I used Groupon to find a good deal on speed dating with a company called Pre-Dating Speed Dating. They have events in many major cities around the United States and Canada.
My Speed Dating Experience
On the evening of the event, my friend and I arrived about 30 minutes early. The two of us and a few other women were the only ones there at first. Thankfully, by the time the event began, there were an equal number of men and women.
Each man and woman were assigned a number. The ladies were also assigned a table where they would sit for the evening, while each guy rotated around the room until he had a date with each woman. We were also given paper and a pen to take down names and a few notes about each other.
I spent the next hour plus making small talk with 11 men from all walks of life, races, and professional backgrounds.
Here were a few standouts:
- A high school math teacher from Jamaica who was very passionate about sunsets and skydiving. He challenged me to take risks and face my fears.
- The humble cyber security guy who was super passionate about his gutter cleaning side hustle because he actually enjoyed helping people.
- A cool guy who worked in Internet marketing and gave me tips on how to get my blog posts noticed in search engines.
- A red meat-loving Argentine math professor who I got into a deep discussion with about vegetarian living.
At the end of the event, I turned in the paper with the names of men I wanted to connect with further. If any of the matches were mutual, the organizer would email both me and my match each other’s email addresses. It was up to us to initiate contact.
For the one-way matches – men I didn’t choose who were interested in connecting with me – the organizer sent their email address in case I changed my mind and wanted to reach out.
How Did I Do?
Out of 11 men, I had three mutual matches and four one-way matches. I had a few dates with one of the mutual connections, but there was no lasting connection. Regardless, I totally enjoyed the experience and would do it again.
Here’s why…and 5 reasons you should give speed dating a try!
Why You Should Try Speed Dating
- Low Pressure. Speed dating involves you literally buying a ticket, putting on a nice outfit, and showing up. Everyone is there to connect with someone, so there is no fear that no one is going to be interested in talking to you. If you don’t make a connection, you just move on!
- Practice Makes Perfect. If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, speed dating is a perfect way to jump back in! You get to have short conversations with multiple men, practicing asking those important (not too personal) questions you’d ask someone you want to get to know better. It’s like going on a bunch of ‘play’ dates before the real date happens. At least that’s how I see it.
- It’s Safe. The men you connect with have no knowledge of you outside of the information you share in the 5 minutes you spend with them. These guys don’t have your phone number, know where you live, or where you work. If there is a mutual match, the organizer gives them your email address only (at least that was the rule of the company that hosted my speed dating).
- It Increases Your Odds Of Meeting ‘The One’. How many times have you had meaningful conversation with 10 or more men in a single night? Not many, I’m guessing. Chances are, you are not going to click with all of them. But, potentially connecting with 2 or 3 guys in a short amount of time increases your chances of finding one that you could actually have something with. You never know.
- You Need Human Connection. As human beings, we are not meant live in isolation. Connecting with people, whether in a platonic or romantic way, is crucial in helping us thrive and become our best selves. I don’t know about you, but sitting across from another person and having a conversation about life is very comforting after a tough day.
One of my favorite scriptures about the importance of connection is Hebrews 10:24-25:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
I hope you’ll consider giving speed dating a try. You really have nothing to lose.
Worst case scenario, you won’t connect with any of the guys. But, that’s what dating is. It’s about meeting different people until you find one – because you only need one – that you click with. It is about enjoying the process while on the path toward finding the one you’re looking for…and the one who is looking for you.
So, tell me. Are you going to step outside of your comfort zone and give it a shot?